Lifted Trucks, Big Boobs, Big Bellies, and Drugs!!

9 Oct

Thats right folks you guessed it!!! The OFF ROAD EXPO was going off this weekend at the Pomona Fairplex!! And yes I was there!!! Not only that but I got in for FREE! ok well I actually was working there but, whatever. I work for the company that puts on the show so my duties for the weekend involved some area management. My section was the Toyota ride and drive, Kymco demo area, side by side drifting, the rock crawl and the kids zone. I think my section was the best and certainly the most entertaining.

So if you have never been to the show let me give you a little run down. First thing is lots of lifted, jacked up, flared fenders, tire in the bed, flame painted, big tire, $100,000 trucks. The purpose of having one of these is so that you can travel through 10 foot deep whoops at 50 miles per hour. If you have a truck like this and you are not traveling through whoops at 50 miles and hour then you are compensating for something you are not doing (or have;-)). Along with the lifted trucks you have buggies and side by sides which are pretty much the same thing but without a tailgate. Now the other thing you will see at our show is every little thing you could possibly think of to attach to your lifted whatever. And don’t forget your orange flag that you put in the bumper so that when you are in the bottom of your 10 foot whoop someone will still see you. If you can’t attach it to your lifted thing then you sure can wear it when you are driving your lifted thing through the whoops at 50 miles an hour. Name brand items like The Big Belly Crew, and Big Titty Crew, and don’t forget your KrackHead gear! (I had to include pics so you would believe me.) So now that I am thinking you have a pretty good idea what Im throwin down here I will move on to the fun stuff.

Hopefully my boss isn’t reading this 😉 but me and Cinnamon (my stripper friend) did par-take in some 4 by 4in of our own!! Now when I drove the side x side around I was careful not to go crazy but when Cinn got in the driver’s seat I totally needed a 5 point harness!! She nearly flipped the thing and killed me. She obviously didn’t get a big enough thrill from that so she moved on to the ATV. She hasn’t really spent a lot of time on a ATV but you wouldn’t have known it by the way she was sliding that thing around the track. lol she is a nut, but I love her. We also went over and watched the rock crawl and the side by side drifting. Now here is a funny thing…..everyone thought the Side by Side Drifting was two vehicles drifting side by side which would have be awesome to watch but really it was A Side by Side vehicle drifting around the course. (see pic) Much less exciting. However Cinn and I both wanted to ride in it cause it sure did look like fun.

So there you have it. Some real 909 fun this weekend. Even though I did poke some fun here the show is actually pretty cool and I really look forward to working it. There is lots of cool stuff there. If you do ever get to the show the only advice I can give you is if you are a guy it is proper for you to wear your white undershirt tank top (aka “wife beater”) and ladies you should wear your white patent leather thigh high boots with a black pair of shorts you wore in the 6th grade coupled with a white see through tube top.
Can’t wait til next year!

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